Steven Universe 43-44

Steven Universe 44: I've been there

Oto. Yep.

Pon. It’s starting not to be surprising when this show is surprisingly fucked-up. What is wrong with these people?

Oto. Yeah, wait, fucked up?

Pon. You can’t just turn into somebody’s dead girlfriend, man.

Oto. Well yeah, but Amethyst is just a sad super soldier rock child. She’s just lashing out. Has she really seen his junk? I will never stop seeing them in a relationship. No. Not a relationship. They fucked once. Greg regrets it.

Pon. That’s weird, though. Amethyst is the kid. Right? Relatively speaking? Anyway, I like how in Passion of Xanxor, the green lady isn’t the space princess damsel. She’s saving the guy. Now that’s how you push boundaries with your 50s sci-fi porn.

Oto. I missed that random eyepatch guy the first time. Nice. Except, am I still allowed to like eyepatches when it’s not on an action hero? Then someone just lost an eye or something. Am I being insensitive?

Pon. He looks like he used to be a British spy.

Oto. He just looks like some accountant.

Pon. Well, he has a desk job now. FYI, there are a lot of desk jobs in spy agencies. His days of James Bondage are over. Now he’s just trying to support his family.

Oto. James Bondage? How much does that typically go for on the street? Sounds awesome. I mean, if you’re into that sort of thing …

Pon. I’m more a fan of Passion of Xanxor.

Oto. I can respect Steven’s decision to just ask robot lady what she’s doing. As someone who always plays that guy in tabletop games, I salute you, Steven. Protip, you will never stop getting shit for it.

Pon. I dunno if the kinds of characters I play are really in this show … it’d be like an unholy hybrid of Pearl and Greg Universe.

Oto. I’m glad the writers of this show are Golden Compass fans. I thoroughly enjoyed those books. I guess Unfamiliar Familiar is kind of a mashup of a couple tropes, but, ya know. I’m also glad that Connie trying to get Steven to read her favorite books and just getting frustrated because he doesn’t know how to read things is just going on in the background.

Pon. It’s like me trying to get you to read things, except you save me the extended grief by just not doing it. Thanks?

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